Holiday guilt and the blahs...

    I don't know about you, but Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I love decorating and baking all kinds of goodies to give out to friends and family and giving gifts to those that I love brings me nothing but pure joy. It's been hard to do this the last few years because my hubby and I travel so much, we never know where we'll be or whether we'll be in a house, apartment, RV, or a hotel. Those are the usual place that we stay at and buying decorations and a tree is not always an option, neither is being able to make the goodies for everyone because I never know I I'll have a kitchen to make them in.

     The biggest hurdle that I've had the last few years has been my health. What with having Graves disease, Hashimoto's, and now rheumatoid arthritis, things have gotten a little trickier in how I am able to do the things that I love doing so much. Some days, I feel great and am able to do it all and then some days, I can barely function at all. On top of that, I have this pesky lung issue that just wears me out and then 6 weeks ago, I started having severe back pain and can't hardly walk or stand for very long at all and that keeps me from the shopping and baking that I need to do and it's really kind of depressing. I am one of those that love to make everything personal, like little notes and stickers on my grandkids packages, goody bags filled with all their favorite goodies, and just sweet little things that make each gift personal and filled with the love that I have for them. It literally stresses me out to not be able to do those things.

     This years is one of those years that I have had to order most everything online and have it shipped and that bothers me because I didn't get to wrap them in a cute little wrapping paper that I picked out just or that person and I haven't really been out to shop for all the little things that would go with their gifts and that bothers me the most. I didn't even send out Christmas cards!! I know...right?? It's just wrong or so I think in my mind.

     I've had my pity party and I've had my moment of feeling like a bad mom and grandma and then I talked to a very good friend of mine and she sure set me straight and she asked me why I was feeling so bad about it and I told her that because of this stupid illness and because I feel so bad all the time, I just didn't get it done and I was feeling like a failure. She basically smacked me upside the head (figuratively) and said that I give really good advice all the time to other people and asked why I didn't take my own advice... I have no idea why...I guess because I am the caretaker and I make sure that everyone else feels good about themselves...not myself...only the others...ok..ok..I see what she is doing here..

     We must not allow ourselves or anyone else to make us feel bad for being sick...yes...even if it is our own crazy selves making us feel bad...First of all...Christmas is not about gifts and goodies and decorating, although those things are great, to me, it's about family and love and hope and I know this, this is exactly what my parents taught me and here I am acting like a poor, pitiful, thing, because I can't do what I want to do. My friends and family aren't going to think badly of me if I don't do the usual things that I do, and if they do...then surely I don't really need friends and family like that in my life. I feel better now...I love everyone with everything I am and would give anything in this world that I could give to make them happy or to help them out and if they can't see that of if they don't know it by now, then shame on them. I have done some shopping online and the gifts won't be wrapped and there won't be a special, personal note on there, but that's ok. I haven't made any goodies to mail out, but that's ok too...I did buy a small tree and it's cute and there are a few little things under it and that's enough. I won't see my kids and grandkids this Christmas and although that makes me a little sad, that's ok too...it will just be me and my hubby this year, we'll have a nice quiet dinner together and exchange a few gifts and that is just fine with me. Life is short and we must make the best of what we have, life is too short to worry and obsess about things that can't be changed, life is just too short to feel bad all the time.

     So id you are feeling bad about not decorating or shopping or whatever it is about the holiday that makes you feel bad, get over it and just be happy that you are still here and able to do what you can do. Give yourself a pep talk, talk to a friend, read a book, listen to your favorite Christmas music, eat something yummy (that won't kill your stomach) take a walk, if you can, or just take a long nap! Allow yourself to enjoy the holiday season without the guilt of feeling bad about things you can't do...do what you can, when you can and always love youselves...no matter what!

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a healthy New Year!

 

 

 

Getting past the ugly stuff

     Today is my late father's birthday, he's been gone three years now and in light of that, I am writing this post on Self acceptance. He is the one who taught me all the goodness in my life and showed me that my value is based on just being myself, not who I was or what I could do.

     I see so many post by people in my thyroid groups that make me so sad, they are frustrated and want to just give up because they feel useless or have family and friends that make them feel bad for being sick or even worse, they make them feel bad by calling them lazy or tell them to just suck it up and get over it. It's a very sad and painful feeling to be sick all the time and to have your friends and family think that you are just lazy or being a drama queen about it and that is just so not true. We are truly sick with a disease that cannot always be seen from the outside, we are tired to the point of exhaustion, freezing cold or sweating to death, we have painful and swollen joints and muscles, irregular or fast heart rates, our blood pressure is too high or too low, we have terrible digestive problems, weird rashes, dizzy spells, we swell up all the time, gain weight despite what we do to lose it, we have depression and anxiety, and I could just go on and on, but you get the picture, right??

     Most people don't get it unless they have it and that makes us feel bad about being sick, it hurts us to know that other people think we are just lazy or making up excuses to not do anything and that is what makes us withdraw from life and people and the things we love doing. I hate being told that if I would just exercise or eat right or even just think positive, that my life will get so much better and I won't be sick anymore or that I can just take a pill and that will solve everything. Oh if only that were the case, my life would be perfect and fabulous all the time...they just don't get it and it hurts.

     I have always been a busy body and I got things done, I had energy and the want to, to be able to do whatever it was that needed to be done...I didn't even think about it, I just did it. When I became sick, it was just horrible, I was so sick, for so long, that I had a hard time even taking care of myself, at first. I had to have my sister come and help me until I was strong enough to do it myself and that was hard for me...I was the care taker, I was the one who made sure everyone else was ok and it still bothers me to this day, that I still need help with some things. It made me angry for awhile and I withdrew from social activities and from people that I loved because I just felt so tired and so bad all the time, I felt useless, like I couldn't do anything for anyone, anymore and that left me in a horribly depressed state. People didn't get it, they just saw me from the outside, looking normal, like nothing was wrong at all.

     It has been three years since I was first diagnosed with Graves Disease and it has been a long, hard, scary, and depressing road, but I am still here and even though I have wanted to give up many, many, times....I just couldn't do it...it's just not in me to give up. My mom and dad were very strong and loving people who supported me in everything I did, even when they knew it was a bad idea...they did it so that I would learn my own lessons, but the biggest gift they ever gave me was complete and total unconditional Love. I always knew that they love me and valued me beyond belief and that alone has contributed to me being who I am today.

     I am here to tell you that you are worthy just because you are...you don't need anyone to tell you that you are or to make you feel accepted, we all have value in this world and we are all important, just because and if someone is telling you that you are lazy or crazy or whatever it is they are saying that is tearing you down and making you feel bad, it's not you or your problem...it's a problem that THEY are having...normal people don't go around tearing other people down, angry people do that.
We all have a purpose here on Earth, even if you don't see it, you do. It may be to tell someone the very things that I am writing about, or to show the world more about thyroid disease or just to smile at someone who needs it as much as we do. Never , Ever, give up or let someone make you feel less than you are, we are Warriors because we live with an invisible illness that debilitates us and we still get up and go on about out business, we still try to do all the things that we used to, and we still have hope that someday, we'll find what makes us feel better, we may do it a little differently than everyone else and we may have days that we just do nothing, but that has nothing to do with our self worth, it has everything to do with what we deal with on a daily basis and that fact that we still try everyday to fit in to what everyone else says is normal...we do this even when we are sick and feeling bad and miserable....it's ok to try to do these things everyday, but it's also ok to just have a down day and to just do whatever it is you need to do...it's ok to eel the way you feel...don't let other people tell you how you feel or tell you that it's wrong to feel the way you feel.

     So...when you are feeling useless or unworthy because you or someone else is telling you that, just stop it!! We are all here for a reason and we all have value and the sooner you accept and love yourself, no matter what, the better off you'll be and you'll feel so much better too and that is the whole purpose with us...right?? We just want to feel better and to feel useful and worthy. Don't ever give up and never let someone make you feel bad, raise that chin and square up those shoulders and show them your fighting face...We are Warriors and should act accordingly! Have a great day!

GMO'S, Diet changes, and helpful hints

     What are Genetically Modified Foods? Where do they come from and what is the purpose behind them?? I've read so much about GMO's and it's pretty darn scary to think that a group of scientist and business men...not Farmer's...have come up with all kinds of new ways to make our cows, chickens, pigs, fish, etc. grow faster and bigger. They've also figured out how to make our corn, soy, and wheat grow bigger and faster and not to mention, they have also figured out how to keep the bugs away from them in order to keep them growing big and strong! GMO's are foods and plants that have been genetically altered in order to make them grow big and fast and without the fear of pests killing them in the field that they grow in..Great huh?? No...the chemicals they use in and on these foods and animals are making us sick! I am overwhelmed at the fact that so much of our food supply is just full of hormones, chemicals, and even pesticides. How do we avoid this and what can we eat? Those are the questions that I have because I now have three auto immune disorders and trying to eat healthy and organic, without chemicals and hormones, is downright impossible and very scary and frustrating to say the least.

     When I found out that my illness were autoimmune, I started researching what lifestyle changes I needed to make in order to feel better and have my life back to some sort of normalcy. What I found out, was that the food I was putting into my body was causing a lot of my problems and that was sad to me because I love to cook and I love to eat even more! I knew that I would have to give up a few things that I loved and have eaten my whole life, but I never knew that even the food that I could have, was not that great for me because it had so many chemicals and hormones in it and those are the very things, in my opinion, that are making me sick. I'm no doctor or even a professional at what I'm doing, but by process of elimination and research, I've learned, very well, that these chemicals and hormones are just bad and they really make me feel sick when I eat them.

     What I have learned is that by eliminating certain foods, I can feel so much better. I am not at my full potential of feeling well all the time, but I am no longer sick every hour of every day. I stopped eating gluten, processed foods, dairy(mostly), soy, sugar (except what comes naturally), canned foods, foods with BPA and BHA, sodas, red meat, and corn. Now I'm not saying you should do the exact same thing, but this is what has helped me. Finding out what your body reacts to in a negative way and eliminating those things will help you so much...stopping the use of preprocessed and chemical laden foods and drinks will help even more, now I know that is a huge job to undertake and it seems that everything in the world ha those things in them, but if you can at least get the majority of them out of your system, you'll be able to tell the difference in no time at all. We'll probably never be able to get every little terrible thing out of our food, but we can do as much as possible to cut down on the amount we are putting in our body.

     Something else that I've started doing that helps is drinking lemon ginger water everyday. I have rheumatoid arthritis and have horrible joint and muscle pain everyday. I also use this to help keep my liver clean and functioning better. The liver function gets messed up when you are on a multitude of drugs and they can affect your kidneys too. In addition to the lemon ginger water, I also use turmeric 1500 mgs a day and take Epsom salt baths. It doesn't take it all away, but it helps enough so that I can at least do what I need to do.

I found that keeping a journal of what I eat and how I feel helps a lot...it showed me exactly what foods are making me feel bad. Also, try to eliminate those foods for a few weeks and see you feel without them...it took some time, but I know now what foods hurt me and what foods help me. Taking good supplements helps a lot too...talk to your doctor first and get tested for the ones you need, such as Vit. D, B-12, Iron and Ferritan,  magnesium, zinc, and iodine. Once you have established what you need, get on them and be consistent. My Vit. D and iron were good, so I don't take those, but I do take Selenium (For TED),   magnesium, Turmeric, milk thistle (for my liver), Vitamin C, and that I about it...I only have my Synthroid to take other than that and I am trying so very hard not to have to take a bunch of drugs, I need for my system to be as calm as can be.

One last thing that I do, besides walking, is Yoga...I started trying it out earlier in the year and I really can tell the difference, it's not a huge difference but it's there and I just have to say that I am a short, top heavy, chunky, girl...I have gained 60 lbs in two years, so it's not easy and is quite comical to see me trying my hardest to do yoga in the floor of my home. I just have to laugh at myself because I really do looks hysterical doing some of the poses, but I am stubborn and love a challenge. I will get there some day and I am in this fight to make my whole body healthy, in every way, not just my thyroid or my immune system.

     With all that said, I hope I didn't lose you in there, it was lengthy and I did ramble at times...#brainfog   #ADD   I hope I can help someone and learn something new, because we are all Warriors....Right?? Until next time, be good and feel good!!

Eating healthy while traveling

I'm not sure how often you travel, but my hubby and I travel all over the country for his job and sometimes we are in a specific place for months at a time and sometimes we are just there for a few weeks and when you have health issues and need to eat a certain way, it gets a bit complicated as to where and what you eat on a daily basis.

I have a few things that I like to carry around with us when we travel to and from jobs that helps me to stay true to the way I like to eat, because I don't know about you, but I would rather have my own cooking than to eat out all the time. Don't get me wrong, I love to eat and eating out all the time would be great, but alas...my body does not feel good when I do that and lets me know in a huge way that it does not like certain foods, so I've had to come up with a way to eat well while traveling and food that is also good for me while we travel.

I carry with me a really good crock pot, a George foreman grill, and a couple of pots and pansthat aren't too big and bulky to carry around. I also bring my nutri bullet with me everywhere because we all need a smoothie, right?  I love my smoothies because they get into me things that I really need more of, like fruits and veggies and supplements that help my body to feel better.

The places we usually stay have kitchens in them, not full sized kitchens, but you know, a couple of burners, a fridge, and a microwave and they never have ovens, so another little miracle I drag along is my toaster over...I like to call it my easy bake oven, it's more fun that way and sometimes we need to bake up some goodies, right?

I have quite a few recipes that I'm going to share in the next post and also, if you can, get out to a farmer's market and buy up what you can of your favorite veggies and fruits, they can be chopped and frozen for later use. I try to buy organic whole foods so that I know exactly what I am putting in my body and I try to keep it simple, but delicious. It doesn't have to be a complicated meal in order for it to be good. I try to make everything from scratch and id I can't, I usually just go with the healthiest alternative that I can find, I'm still new at this a learning as I go, but it is the most important thing to me, other than my kids and grand kids, that I eat as healthy as I can. It is daunting just trying to figure out how to deal with all the health issues that I have and to just feel human most days. So until next time, I hope I've helped in some way and have made some sense..I'll be posting some of my favorite recipes to use on the road and I'll be traveling again soon and adding that into my posts as well. Go out and be the sunshine in someone's day!

Here is a pic of beautiful Oregon Coast, which is where we are now!

Thank you Lord for giving me a sense of humor!

Whew! It's been a bit since I've been here to post anything...my life, once again, has taken a turn for the crazy! I've been so sick for the last two months with bronchitis and pneumonia...again...for the umpteenth time and I am rally getting sick of it...no pun intended. I have now had an added illness of Intrinsic Asthma, as if I needed another one, but yes, two months of tests, doctors and medications and here I am, still unable to breathe well and still trying to get well and feel good.

I really do thank the Lord everyday that I was blessed with a really good sense of humor, otherwise, I would probably be dead or in prison. I have to laugh at myself and my life in order to keep from jumping off a bridge or killing people when my hormones are out of control, but really, I do feel blessed, I have a great hubby that supports me, even when he doesn't understand what's going on in y body, and I have beautiful kids and even more beautiful grand children that are the light of my life, so no...death or prison just won't work.  They all give me something to keep on keeping on and for that, I am truly grateful.

I have decided that this new thing that has me down, for now, but not out, will just have to get over itself and I plan to fight it all the way, just as I do with everything else, and get myself healthy again through good food and exercise...this post is short, but just wanted to say that no matter what life throws at you, you can still have a great life and you can still fight it with everything you have. Stay true to yourself and be good to your body and good things will happen. Remember, life is short, shorter than we realize and we have to just choose to be happy and move forward, no matter what this bitch we call life does to us!

I love to eat!

I love Food....that's it...all food, anywhere, any time...Problem is...I have three autoimmune diseases that call for a stricter diet and I am a creature of habit and yes...some might say I'm stubborn too..mostly my hubby, but I really do love to cook and bake and doing that for the people I love just makes it all that much better! My Mamma was the best cook and baker that I know of...she taught me everything I know and even though I can cook like her, there are still things I can't do like she did. She could throw garbage into a pot and it would be fabulous! I can't do that, but I think I got the gist. The only problem about her cooking was that she fried a lot of stuff and I do not...I would love to eat all of her fried concoctions, but alas....my stomach has other ideas. Since becoming sick with three different autoimmune diseases, I have had to change everything about the way I eat, what I drink, and what vitamins and supplements that I take on a daily basis. This has been the hardest thing for me to deal with and I am still learning how to eat and what to eat so that maybe by the time I figure it all out, I'll be a human again and have some energy to actually do something with my life.

First of all...let me just say that I am NOT a doctor, nor am I an expert. I am just sharing my experience and what works for me.

The first thing I did was eliminate whatever foods, chemicals, ingredients, etc. that were causing me to have adverse affects on my body and the first thing I did was to stop eating anything that was preprocessed, in a can, and had GMO's in it. Corn is a big no no for me....I love corn, but it makes me feel like I've swallowed glass shards. So, in looking for things that had corn or corn products in it, I found that pretty much everything has some kind of corn syrup or corn by product in it!! What?? What the heck am I supposed to eat?? Well that started a whole new way of eating for me and now I cook everything from scratch, whole foods that are GMO free and organic. It's pricey to eat this way, but still cheaper than medicine. There are things that I have to avoid because of Hashimoto's, but I still try to eat as healthy as possible while still avoiding the "bad" stuff, as in bad for me. I've also added a regimen of Vit. D-3, B-12, ashwangdha, fish oil, magnesium, selenium, and coconut oil and in addition to that, of course, my thyroid meds and that seems to be working so far.  I've only been on my thyroid meds for about 8 weeks, but so far, I feel so much better and have even lost 12 lbs in the process. 
Other things that I've learned not to eat are dairy products, (I love cheese and still have issues with cutting it out) Sugar is a huge problem for me because, well...I love sweets! I can eat tomatoes, just not a lot and not very often and wine...dear lord, I love my wine..I really, really, love my wine, so I limit myself with a couple of glasses once or twice a month. With that being said...I generally try to bake or grill or saute, not fry my food, I limit my red meat intake, only because it doesn't digest properly with me,I like to have plenty of fruits and veggies, ones that won't affect my Hashimoto's, but really...sometimes, I just have to eat that peach or those strawberries and yes, I pay for it, but who can go without peaches and strawberries?? I limit the amount of breads, of any kind, because they too make my tummy very unhappy, and I try to drink tons of water everyday and in the mornings, I add lemon to my water for liver detox, Lord knows with all the meds I take, I need to detox that liver and so far, I've been doing ok with my little plan of action, but I know that there is so much more that I need to learn about this disease and I am always looking for new and better ways of treating my body the way I'm supposed to.
I think if I am diligent in my diet and the care of my immune system, then I should be able to have a pretty normal life and as soon as I get my strength back, I goal is to go ahead and walk that marathon by the time I am 50...that is my goal...I hope that by sharing my journey and life with you, that I can help someone to understand themselves and what may or may not work for you! Have a great day and I hope to be more consistent with my posts, I do have down days still, but I am working on getting my health back to where it was 3 years ago!

Starting my life over after Graves Disease

Hey there, I have been lost for a bit and not blogging or writing or even anything other than just trying to get myself healthy again and I have to say, the last two years have been hell on me and my family. I was diagnosed two years ago with an autoimmune disease called Graves Disease that attacks your thyroid and causes you body to go crazy, or at least that's how it felt. I was doing great at the time, exercising and eating healthy, looking and feeling good and then all of a sudden...not really...I started having all these crazy things happening to me, such as, extreme digestive problems, shaking all over, rapid heart rate, getting sick with pneumonia and upper respiratory infections,  in fact, I had pneumonia 8 times in one year and still couldn't figure out what the deal was. This went on for about six months and things just got worse and I was losing weight on a weekly basis, sweating profusely, could no longer read my hand writing...it was just miserable and all the doctors I saw said it was stress or me going into menopause and to just get well with antibiotics and relax. Hmmm..interesting...relax when my heart rate was sky high, my blood pressure was sky high, I lost 67 lbs in about 8 weeks and couldn't stop shaking all the time. Well...that was crazy to say to me...I knew something was wrong, but never thought it could be my thyroid.

It was May 2012 by then and we were on our way to my daughter's house in South Carolina for my grand daughters graduation and I was still sick, but was determined to have a good time anyway. I continued to have all the crazy symptoms and decided that once we got back to Oregon, I would go see a dr and demand an answer as to why I was so sick. Shortly after getting back to Oregon, I became severely ill and couldn't stop coughing or even lay down to sleep without feeling like I couldn't breathe and told my hubby to take me to the ER. Saw a dr at the ER and they said I had bronchitis and gave me antibiotics...again...the very next day, I went back to the ER because I honestly could not breathe and they admitted me for more tests and after a few days, they sent me home and told me to follow up with a local dr that week. Well..the very next day, when I woke up, I couldn't even stand up and walk because I was so weak and my breathing was worse. I called 911 and was taken by ambulance back to the ER where I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and the mad rush was on to figure out what the problem was. Luckily for me, I went when I did because the dr said that if I had waited any longer, I would be dead right now. It took them another 4 days to figure out that it was my thyroid and the cause was Graves disease...what?? What the heck is that and am I dying? That is what I was thinking and hoping they were wrong and I could just take antibiotics and get well and go home!

No...that is not what I could do and little did I know how crazy my life was really about to become..they released me a week later and gave me all the meds that I would need and told me to see an Endocrinologists. Oh goody, a specialists...she'll fix me right up and then I can get back to my awesome life and just forget about all this mess. Wrong!! The meds were horrible, I couldn't sleep or I slept too much, I was still too weak to even think about doing anything without help, my hair fell out, my BP was crazy at best, my heart rate was still too high....weren't all these meds supposed to help with that? Finally went back to Endo and she said that If I had Radio active Iodine treatment, then my symptoms would get better and my life would be better...okay...I'll do it! Four months after the hospital visit I had the RAI and felt pretty good...for awhile....after that my symptoms started coming back and I thought that my life would just end...I didn't know anyone who had this mess and I certainly didn't know enough about it to make an informed decision about my illness, so I just trudged along, suffering silently, and I waited for things to even out and get better. I  lost my insurance in the months after I had RAI, so I didn't really see a dr unless I felt like I was going to die...I know...crazy huh? I'll never do that again...it's just not worth it.

It is now two years later and I have gone hypo thyroid and am on medication for that. The meds do help and I am feeling better, but there has to be more that can be done and I plan on figuring that out because I want my life back and I have grand babies that need to be spoiled. This blog is not just about thyroid issues, but about my crazy life of traveling the country, feeding my body the good stuff, and just everyday things that we women, moms, grandmas, and people in general want to do and say in our lives. I write mainly for myself and if someone reads this and laughs or finds information helpful, then great...until next time...Be good and be happy! Life is short!